There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
