Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
