He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
