I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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