Small penises have feelings too.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
