i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
