I never want to see another naked old woman again.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
