small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
