He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
