I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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