Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
