You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
