When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
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