new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
