Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
