then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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