I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
