Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
