Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
