her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
