my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize