I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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