You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize