He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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