so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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