Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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