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if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
