Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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