You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
