I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
