1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
