nut hugger
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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