i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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