Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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