so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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