I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
