In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
