I just saw a hot homeless man
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
