i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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