I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Lo siento on account of my penis...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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