we're blogging at a bar
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
