his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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