At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
