So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
