This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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