I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
