I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
