The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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