Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
