I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize