Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
