You're my little dorito
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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