i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is wine microwaveable?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
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