You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
