There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
