how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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