I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
