I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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