i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
