I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
