he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She's the barista slut.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
This toilet bowl is my home.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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