I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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