Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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