it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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