Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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