smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
