Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
