i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
