He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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